Male LSSD Deputies Dialogue

If greeted kindly by the player

• Hi!
• Good day.
• Howdy.
• Hey there.
• Kifflom!

Chatting to other officers

• Shit, even anal gets boring after a while.
• Most gals will gargle your meat to get out of a ticket. I'm just saying.
• Huh, you don't have to tell me.
• All you do is talk!
• I'm about tired of you and your mouth
• I'm hungry. Let's get something to eat.
• Thank you, kindly!
• Ah, I appreciate it!
• You know, one time, I slept with three women in one day!
• My old lady just keeps getting fatter and fatter.
• Shit, back to the chiropractor.
• Oh, hell.
• Damn it, hellfire!
• Shit!
• This is a pain in the ass.
• Man, that sucks.
• Bye, now.
• Be good.
• You're not wrong.
• Amen to that.
• You said it.
• Hit the nail on the head.
• If there's one thing I can't stand, it's city folk.
• Why someone would want to live in Los Santos is beyond me.
• You wouldn't catch me speaking any Spanish.
• Outta work, everyone wants to stick their grubby hand in Uncle Sam's cookie jar.
• Take care, now.
• God damn!
• Christ!
• What the hell?
• Christ's sake!
• Aw, crap.
• Aw, hell.
• Damn.

If annoyed or insulted

• Inbred dickwad!
• Oh, you aiming for a beatdown?
• You got a chip on your shoulder?
• You ain't worth the fucking steam off my piss.
• Gimme a break with that shit!
• You asshole.
• Ugly ass piece of shit.
• Watch it, dimwit.
• Dumbfuck!
• Fucko!
• Asshole!
• You maggot!
• You disgust me!
• Son of a bitch!
• Deadbeat.
• Traitor.
• Scum.

Communicating to other officers

• I'd stick my head out, but I'd get it shot off.
• I'll draw and fire, and you peg it.
• You got me?
• You got my back?
• I'm gonna bolt! Cover me!
• You keep an eye out, I need cover!
• Keep that asshole entertained!
• I'm getting busy!
• Don't worry, buddy!
• Let's finish this shit!
• Enough of this asshole!
• Come on, now!
• Move in!
• Fuck this asshole! Go!
• On me!
• Stay on me, alright?
• When I give the signal, shoot this asshole!
• On my mark, go guns blazing!
• I got you!
• Got it!
• I'm on it!
• Back up!
• Go, go, go!
• Now! Now!
• Fire, now!
• Open fire, fire, fire!
• Unload on him!
• I'm ready.
• Locked and loaded.
• Shoot this asshole!
• They're going east!
• Asshole is northbound.
• Shit, he's heading south!
• All units, they have turned west.
• 10-4! I've got him.
• Who's got eyes for me?
• Talk to me, fellas!
• The asshole's heading east!
• He's going north.
• He's heading south.
• Perp's heading west.
• Cover me!
• Gimme some cover!
• I need cover!
• Recovering fire!
• You leave him to me!
• Go! Go!
• You're good to go!
• You're covered. Move!
• Let's go!
• Move in!
• Get in there!
• Make it count!
• Stay with me. I'm gonna lead.
• Into position!
• Ready!
• Oh, yes!
• I was born ready!
• That son of a bitch is quick!

If an officer is in danger

• Shit! Get down!
• Be careful! Get your head down!
• Duck, assholes!
• Screw this!
• We gotta fall back!
• Regroup!
• Shit, man! This is too much!
• Damn!
• Help!
• No!
• Oh, shit!
• I've never seen anything like this.
• Oh, Jesus.
• Holy hell!
• We need backup!
• Officer in need of assistance!
• Will you assholes stop messing around and help me!?
• I could use a hand here!
• I can't do this all by myself!
• I'mma need some help out here!
• I could use some backup!
• All officers, I need help now!
• Call in NOOSE!
• This is too much!
• Shit, get behind something!
• I ain't getting shot!
• Get cover!
• Whoa, be careful!
• Find cover, and let's regroup!
• I'm getting tired of doing this all by my lonesome.
• It's getting a little too hot for my liking!
• Why did you let this asshole pin me down!?
• I'm pinned in pretty fucking tight here!
• What the hell!? He's got me pinned!
• Dickheads, he's got me pinned!
• Where's my god damn cover!?
• Stay down!
• Look out!
• Fall back!
• Retreat!
• Everyone, move back!
• Get outta here!
• Pull out!
• What the hell!?
• Oh my Lord!
• Oh, shit!
• God help us!
• I don't like this!
• Christ alive!
• Oh my God!
• Jesus!
• Hellfire!
• Somebody help me!
• Someone help me, for the love of God!
• I need help!
• Help, for Christ's sakes!
• I'm in serious shit over here!
• Am I on my god damn own here!?
• This is getting real urgent, fellas!
• Where's your cover?
• Take cover!
• Cover yourselves!
• Find some cover!

If an officer is injured or killed

• He's not gonna make it!
• We got an officer down!
• Ah, they got Mike! Shit!
• He's hurt bad!
• We got a man down!
• We got one hit on the ground!
• We're taking casualties!

If drivers are in the way of a pursuit

• Hey, dimwit! Move it!
• Were you high on toilet cleaner?
• You high on toilet cleaner? Go!
• You want a ticket?
• Get outta the damn way!
• Hey, outta the way!
• Move, asshole!
• Police business! Move!
• Let's get out the way!
• You're obstructing the law!
• Sheriff coming through!
• Clear the road!
• Clear the road now!
• What's the holdup here?
• This is an obstruction of justice!
• Outta the way, moron!
• Move, or I will run you down!
• Move outta the way. That's an order!

Arresting the perpetrator

• Whoa! Jimmy's gonna have a lot of fun with your ass back at the station.
• Well, we know how this is gonna end, don't we?
• Looks like we're gonna have to do this the hard way.
• This should be fun!
• Don't fuck with me.
• W-w-w-whoa, don't move!
• I'll knock all your damn teeth out!
• Tell me, sunshine: you ever had a nightstick up your ass?
• Don't make me turn you into an internet video, asshole.
• Look at that. You made me pull out my gun!
• You're about to become my favorite target.
• Hands in the air! Now!
• Gotcha!
• You're under arrest, you piece of shit.
• You have the right to remain silent.
• You are one step away from becoming an internet video, asshole.
• Get in the police car, nice and slow.
• In the police car. Now!
• All right then, shithead.
• You in for an ass whooping?
• You're surrounded!
• You done goofed up, asshole. Nowhere to go!
• Looks like you are surrounded!
• Stop, and put your hands in the air!
• They're gonna love you.
• You have the right to absolutely nothing.
• It's the iron hotel for you, buddy.
• Don't make me kill you, asshole.
• Reach for the sky, buddy!
• Let's see those hands right now.
• You're on pig shit now, buddy!
• That's a lifetime ban right there.
• Where's my breathalyzer?
• You are mine now.
• Stay right there.
• Just get in the god damn car.
• Get in the car and keep your mouth shut.
• You people will never learn!
• I'll teach you some respect!
• This is the only language you understand!
• Don't you move another muscle.
• Stop, or I will blow your brains out!
• You'll rot in jail for this.
• What in God's name are you doing?
• Have you lost your mind!?
• You and me - let's do this.
• We got you surrounded!
• You're completely surrounded!
• It ends right here, right now!
• You've reached the end of the line.

Taunting the perpetrator

• Well, well, look who it is.
• Well, look at you. All slow and dumb!
• Nowhere to go!
• Die!
• Enough of you!
• It is over.
• Go to hell!
• I stop you again, and you are going down!
• I'm in a good mood. You can go, but don't screw up again.
• Come here!
• You ain't gonna outrun me!
• You don't have many options.
• Next part is where you are bleeding on the floor.
• Hands in the air!
• I'mma beat you when I catch you!
• Ain't no use in running!
• You ain't gonna get away.
• You will fry for this!
• Just wait 'till I catch you!
• Give it up!
• Stop right there!
• You've gone far enough!
• I'll kill you!
• Running won't help!
• Why don't you slow it down there?
• You got a pair of eyes, don't you?
• Where's the fire?
• I'll let it slide this one time.
• Okay, you'll keep.
• Come on!
• You're dead!
• This ends now!
• I'll kill you!
• Son of a bitch!
• You make me sick.
• Waste of space.
• Get that son of a bitch!
• Crush that son of a bitch!
• Kill that punk!
• Take him down!
• Fun's over, buddy!
• Hold up!
• Stay right there!

After the perpetrator has been neutralized

• Ah, I'm hungry. Let's get something to eat.
• Dead as hell. *Sniffs* Let's go get a beer.
• I don't get paid enough for this shit.
• God must've wanted one more dickhead.
• What the fuck is happening!?
• What a waste of time.
• That's how we do things 'round here.
• I tried to warn you.
• Suspect is down!

Communicating to civilians via megaphone

• We need this area cleared immediately.
• Clear out, everyone.
• If you can hear me, get the fuck out.
• Police! Clear out!
• Get out now!
• Everyone, clear the area!
• Hey, assholes! No loitering.
• You don't have to go, but you can't stay here.
• You don't have to go home, but- yeah, you fucking do. Go home.
• Do not take another step!
• Stay right there. We need to have a chat!
• Halt! Hands in the air!
• Don't you move another inch!
• Move away from the area.
• Everyone, clear the area.
• Let's move out, people.
• Clear the area now!
• Get outta there now!
• Everyone, move!
• Go get a job, people.
• Party's over, folks.

Megaphone quotes (during a car pursuit)

• Ram his ass! He'll lose control!
• A case of Piβwasser to the guy who clips this shitbird!
• Just shoot the tires out! That actually sounds like fun!
• I got an idea on how to end this for good!
• Shoot him in the head!
• Police! Stop your car!
• Stop the car and put your hands out the window!
• Stop the vehicle now!
• Are you deaf? Stop the vehicle!
• You are pissing me off! Stop!
• I said "Stop the fucking car!"
• Don't you try my patience! Stop the god damn car!
• You better stop that damn car. Now!
• Stop your vehicle!
• Stop the vehicle. We need to have a little chat!
• Stop the vehicle and get out!
• Turn off the engine in your vehicle!
• Keys out of the ignition. Now!
• I'm warning you. Kill the engine!
• I am not accustomed to repeating myself! Stop!
• Shut the vehicle down, asshole!
• Throw the fucking keys out the window!
• You asshole, don’t you test me. You stop!
• Shoot the tires!
• Take him out!
• Take him off the road!
• Take that vehicle out!
• Shoot out the wheels!
• Stop right there!
• I'm ordering you to stop!
• Stop the car now!
• Please. Stop the car!
• Pull the car over!
• Stop the god damn car!
• What part of “stop” don’t you understand!?
• Last chance to stop the car!
• Pull over!
• Pull over on the side of the road!
• You need to pull over now!
• Stop that vehicle right now!
• Pull the hell over!
• Stop now!
• Stop the fucking vehicle!
• Stop, right now!

Megaphone quotes (during a boat pursuit)

• Stop your boat!
• Hands in the air! Stop your boat!
• Shut down the boat's engine and put your hands in the air!
• Stop the boat now!
• Kill the engine!
• Stop the boat! That's an order!

If the player is walking around with a gun

• You dumbass, put that away!
• Now we both know that ain't a good idea.
• I'd think very carefully if I was you.
• Let's not get ahead of ourselves here.
• I don't think so, buddy!

If the player sprints up to an officer

• Scared the shit out of me!

If the perpetrator gets away or if sight is lost of the player while wanted

• Damn it, damn it, damn it!
• Oh, that's just fucking great!
• Where did he go!?
• Shit! We cannot lose this turd burger!
• This asshole must be on PCP! We’re losing him!
• We're gonna lose him!
• He's getting away!
• Stay on him!
• Not on my watch!
• Where'd he go?
• Uh oh, I don’t see him.

If an officer recognizes the perpetrator

• Look who it is!
• There’s that asshole!
• There you are!
• There’s the bastard!
• Yeah, I see you!
• Suspect’s been spotted!

If an officer is bleeding out and/or deceased

• Now, don't you go dying on me!
• You ain’t gonna die.
• Ambulance is on the way.
• I'll kill the asshole who done this to you!
• Shocking!
• Mother of God.

If the player enters Humane Labs Research near an officer

• This is county property, boy!
• Get out of here!
• Get your ass out of here!
• You are tres-fucking-passing!

If a vehicle is about to explode

• That shit is gonna blow!
• Oh no, it’s gonna explode!
• We got a burner!
• It's gonna blow!

If an officer is nearly hit by a vehicle

• Halt!
• Cool it!
• Settle down, alright?
• Chill out, assholes!
• Cool your jets, you shitheads!
• Hey! Slow down!
• You'll kill somebody!

If an officer needs to reload their weapon

• I'm reloading!
• Keep him busy while I reload!
• Reloading!
• Damn gun’s old as hell.
• New clip!
• Gotta reload! Watch my back!

If shot at

• You don't shoot the cops, asshole!
• You god damn maniac!