Michael De Santa Dialogue

If Greeted

 * Oh, hey.
 * Yeah, how are you?

Greeting (Male Pedestrians)

 * Hey!
 * Hey, man.
 * Hey, you cool, pal?
 * What's going on, dude?

Greeting (Female Pedestrians)

 * Hello, sweetheart.

Greeting (Families)

 * Hey, be cool. We got friends in common.

Greeting (Poor/Homeless People)

 * Hey, take care of yourself.

Greeting (Hippies)

 * Peace, brother.

If Told A Story By A Pedestrian

 * Je-sus, fucking Christ!
 * You must really worry your family.
 * No, no, really; that's fascinating.

Insults (General)

 * You define everything that's wrong with this place!
 * When I say you suck, I mean you really suck.
 * You're really making my skin crawl!
 * Hey, you. Really?!

Insults (Angry)

 * You know something: you're fucking pathetic!
 * You make my skin crawl!
 * How the fuck are you alive?!
 * Why are you still breathing?!
 * Why do you exist?!
 * There is no fucking point to you!
 * You're an irrelevant prick!

If Threatened

 * Go fuck yourself.
 * Why don't you fuck off?
 * Yeah, you. Fuck off. Now.

Starting A Fight

 * It's on.
 * This outta be interesting!
 * Come on, then!

Starting A Fight (Angry)

 * YEAH?!
 * HIT ME THEN!
 * YOU'RE FUCKING DEAD!

Beating A Pedestrain To The Floor

 * Ain't this a kick in the pants?!
 * Really?! You want some more?!

Beating A Pedestrian To The Floor (Agitated)

 * STAY DOWN!
 * STAY THE FUCK DOWN!

Car Crashes

 * You know how much this car costs?!
 * I've seen some bad drivers but you... Whoa-ho-ho!

Car Crashes (Agitated)

 * I ain't got time to swap details, asshole!

Running Over A Pedestrian

 * Get out... The fucking way.
 * Ah, sorry about that.

Running Over A Pedestrian (Agitated)

 * Sorry! Not really!
 * Ah, FUCK!

Obtaining A Wanted Level

 * Great... Cops. Fucking beautiful.
 * Ah, just in case I wasn't having enough fun already!
 * Ah, crap.

Threatening Someone With A Gun

 * Alrighty, then! Let's have a little chat!

Shooting At Someone

 * Yeah, I'm an old fat-ass fucker with a gun!
 * I know, I know; it ain't fucking cool!
 * Come on! Kill me, I need something to talk to my shrink about!
 * I guess I'm not having a very good day!
 * I guess this is how the fuck it is!
 * I guess this is how you like it, huh?!

Shooting At Someone (Agitated)

 * Yeah?! YEAH?!
 * COME ON, MOTHERFUCKERS, SHOOT ME BACK!
 * AIN'T THE AMERICAN DREAM GRAND?!
 * YOU THINK YOU FUCKING SCARE ME?!
 * UH HUH?! WHAT?! YOU GOT SOMETHING TO SAY?!
 * ALRIGHT, LET'S GO, PEOPLE!
 * AIN'T THIS A BARREL OF FUN?!
 * ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?!
 * HEY! YOU WANT ME?! KILL ME!

Shooting Someone

 * Come on!
 * Alright! Let's do this thing!
 * Ain't this nice?!
 * So, you wanna join the party?!
 * Who snitched?! Anyone?!

If Assaulted

 * You are out of control!
 * Oh, you're a psycho! You know that?!
 * Where the hell did you come off?!
 * Eh, show me some respect!