Trevor Philips Dialogue

This page lists all the dialogue for the in-game protagonist: Trevor Philips. When greeting someone, Trevor will almost always insult them. However, a patched glitch shows us some unused dialogue for. For unique insults, the interact button must be pressed again. Trevor will continue his taunting in a separate unique sentence. Occasionally, homeless people will greet Trevor friendly. If they do, Trevor will be reply friendly back, but will begin insulting them again on the third interaction button hit as they won't reply back. The game likely has Trevor automatically set to insult, as many NPCs will negatively comment on his appearance if they walk by him.

Greeting (Patched Glitch)

 * Hello, muscles!
 * Hello, handsome!
 * Hey there, cupcake.
 * Hello!
 * Why, hello!
 * Hello, sugar!
 * The name's Trevor. Hi.
 * Hey there! How you doing?
 * Mmm, hello, sailor!

Greeting

 * Hey there.
 * Hello there.

Questions

 * How's it going?
 * What's your problem?

General Insults

 * You look like you struggle with simple tasks.
 * Did you lose a very big bet?
 * Why hasn't someone sensible shot you yet?
 * Oh, you really suck.
 * Idiot!
 * Fool!
 * Moron!
 * You're a waste of space on this Earth!
 * I've trodden shits with more brains!
 * You make me want to emigrate.
 * You make me want a lobotomy!
 * You're a total moron.
 * You dumbass.
 * Brainless fool!
 * Why, oh why do you exist?
 * Why, oh why weren't you drowned at birth?
 * Listen, nobody likes you.
 * Listen, even your parents can't stand you!
 * Argh, you give me hives.
 * You are utterly ridiculous!

Insults (Angry)

 * YOU CHUMP!
 * IDIOT!
 * YOU MORON!
 * HOW ARE YOU ALLOWED TO WALK THE STREETS, MORON?!
 * You asshole!
 * You puddle of vomit!
 * YOU PILE OF SICK!
 * YOU ARE SUCH AN ASS!
 * TURD!
 * YOU ARE AN IDIOT!
 * You depressing afterthought!

Insulting Fat People

 * You're a big hunk of love aren't you? A massive, blubbery ball of hot, sexy, CHUBBY LUST! Hey come back here! I was enjoying that thought!
 * Hey, pork chop! How's it going? I said: "How's it going, pork chop?!" Well that's not very friendly, is it?!
 * Have you ever tried exercising, pork chop? And I don't mean just your arm. Oh there you go! See?! That's not so bad!
 * What's your problem, fatso? I said: "What's your problem, fatso?!" Oh, come on, where's your sense of humour? DID YA EAT IT?
 * Whoa, you are large, my friend. I mean, large. Like a big thing! And you've got a shit line in repartee too!
 * Do, uhhh, chubby chasers seek you out? I mean, I can see it being FUN having a bouncy, bouncy, bouncy! Hey, it's not my thing! I think it's revolting!
 * Food is a drug, and, you're an addict. I mean, for some it's junk, but for you, it's CHEESECAKE! But you all rehab just the same!
 * My God, you're massive! I mean, you're the size of a house! And you run real funny, too!
 * Listen, I think you should give up the comfort eating. I mean, somebody probably loves you! Although I don't know why!
 * You're pretty big there, my friend. But, I'm sure someone loves ya! Actually, they probably don't!
 * You're MASSIVE! I mean... You're fat! You'll need more than just jogging!
 * Look at you. You're... Vast. I mean, you're really FUCKING BIG! You should do more of that running! It might help!
 * So... You're a big one, aren't ya? I said: you're pretty big! And boy do you wobble when you move!
 * You're a big ol' thing, aren't ya? Hey, now don't get defensive on me, porkchop! It's not my fault! I didn't eat all that food!

Insulting 'Tough Guys'

 * You don't look tough, pal. You look constipated.
 * That tough guy act is ridiculous! I bet you have a vagina!
 * OH, TOUGH GUY! What a jackass!
 * You look like an ugly woman. Having a really bad menstrual cycle.
 * All that posing, not fooling anyone! I bet you got a tiny pee-pee!
 * You know you don't look tough, sugar tits! You look like a moron!
 * Stop trying to act hard! You look like a penis.
 * What exactly, are you compensating for, buddy? I mean, you're not fooling anyone.
 * You're not tough, pal. You're ridiculous! And I think we both know you want me.
 * Nobody's buying the hard man act, pal. Everyone knows you're a pussy.
 * Hey, hard man! Fuck you! Yeah, I said, FUCK YOU!
 * You don't look tough, sugar! You look like a cunt.

Insulting Cops

 * I bet you love giving orders! And arresting jaywalkers and tourists...
 * Oh, you look so tough, officer! I know you were bullied in school.
 * Nice name badge! But they misspelled 'dick'.
 * Nice uniform! But you should be working at Burger Shot!
 * How did you get in the police force? You look like you belong in a mental home.
 * You look ridiculous in that uniform. But I bet you're probably used to looking ridiculous.
 * What exactly are you looking at? Because I'm looking at a turd!
 * The police force. Now that's a bad joke! Police 'farce' would be a better name.
 * Does barking orders get you excited? Or do you prefer beating up suspects?
 * Let's be clear: only an idiot joins the cops. See? You don't even understand simple sentences.
 * Hey, aren't you cool! I was being sarcastic. You're a twat.
 * Aren't you just a great example to us all? Living proof that shit can talk!
 * You, my friend, have found your level in life. You joined a society of morons called the police force!
 * Why do you like being an authority figure? Is it because you're very inadequate?

Insulting Hipsters

 * You're about as alternative, as a dog turd! I mean seriously - you're ridiculous! And you can't run either!
 * You're part of the problem. You make people hate Americans. And quite frankly, I can see why!
 * Oh, you are such a hipster. Hipster, hipster, hipster! HIPSTER, HIPSTER, HIPSTER!
 * So we are clear: you look like a tit. I mean a tit or a twat, take your pick. And you run like one too!
 * You make me want to kill myself. Or you, I can't decide which. Oh, stop taking things so literally! I was being ironic - ish!
 * You make me sad for humanity. I mean all the people I've killed and not you?! Oh, come on, I was only joking!
 * Oh, you're such a turd! And I don't mean that ironically. YOU'RE REALLY A TURD!
 * What a sad thing to dedicate your life to. Being a complete TURD! And I must say you're great at it!
 * You're completely ridiculous. You're so incredibly alternative! Just like every other asshole around here!
 * Oh, you are the worst! The absolute worst! I mean it! You’re the worst!
 * In case you're wondering, everybody does see through you. They think you're a fake twat! AND YOU KNOW, THEY'RE RIGHT!
 * The ironic thing isn't working anymore. You just look pathetic! LIKE THE TRUST FUND WEENIE YOU PROBABLY ARE!

Insulting The Elderly

 * You make me a big fan of euthanasia. I mean, the world has enough of you. It's a bit late to take up jogging!
 * You old people are all the same. Complain, complain, COMPLAIN! But you never wanna hear someone else's opinion, do you?!
 * At least your generation can be proud. You've totally destroyed the world! So you can die with a smile on your face!
 * What're you looking at, you old turd? I said: "What are you looking at?!" Yeah, run away, I've had enough of you!
 * Oh, just piss off! I mean it: PISS OFF, you're depressing me. Thank you, that's better!
 * Ah, old people are so depressing. You're like a broken machine. Hey, at least you can still run!
 * The greatest generation, my ass. All you lot do is moan, moan, moan! MOAN, MOAN, MOAN, MOAN!
 * Well done with destroying the world! Yours is the worst generation in history! You're even worse than the millennials!
 * Stop looking so miserable! I mean, c'mon, SMILE! I was just being friendly!
 * You're well past your sell-by date. I mean, you should be put out to pasture! Or boiled down into glue!
 * You come from the most selfish generation. You've entirely destroyed the planet! Give yourself a big hand!
 * All you old people do is whine. And moan, and complain, and shout! You could learn a lot from me!
 * You depressing old prune. You're entirely dried out. Like a great salt flat of sorrow and decay!
 * Oh, stop complaining! That's all you old people do! There, isn't jogging more fun than complaining?

Insulting The Homeless

 * You stink. You really stink, it's revolting. I mean you really stink, it's not an insult!
 * You're lost my friend! Off with the aliens! YOU'RE GONE, PAL! GONE!
 * I feel bad for you. You're completely lost. And trust me, it's not that way!
 * Oh, it's just not working for you, is it? I mean the dirty crazy vibe... It's so not a winner. Listen, I hope you take on board what I told you!
 * Oh great, a stinky crazy person! How very original. Get some help, it's pathetic!
 * You're not crazy, you're lazy! There's a difference, you're a faker! There's no point running, I've seen through you!
 * Oh please, just take a bath, will you? And stop acting all "crazy"!. It's frankly not very original!
 * Oh, you are so self indulgent! Just make some changes, please! There! Jogging! Good, that's a start!
 * Hey, we all love drink and drugs pal. But I pay for mine. Oh, yeah, run away you leech!
 * Get some help, my friend! This isn't working. You're just running away from your problems!
 * Come on, sort yourself out. For fuck's sake! Make some changes! IT'S NOT ME YOU'RE RUNNING AWAY FROM, IT'S YOURSELF!
 * Stop pretending to be crazy. I mean, it's not fooling anyone. You just don't like washing very much!
 * What's it like on your planet? I mean, it don't look like a lot of fun. You'd be happier back on earth!
 * You're depressing me, friend. So... depressing! You even run in a depressing way!

Insulting Gangsters/Rednecks

 * I'm in a gang! Uh! I'm really tough! So it‘s OK, when I jerk off my buddies!
 * Is the circle jerking stuff as much fun as it sounds? And can I join in, pal? Pretty please?
 * Are you boys for real? Or are you going to a fancy dress party, huh?
 * You look real tough. Oh, I'm so frightened! Oh, please don't scowl at me!
 * Hey, tough guy! Yeah, you! You and your friends wanna fight?
 * I've met tougher boy scouts. In fact, I've met tougher girl guides!
 * Hi, I’m a real individual! So I joined a gang!
 * Hey, buddy! Come out of the closet! It’s not a good look anymore!
 * I have confused thoughts about other men! So I stick in a gang with guys, just like me!
 * You don’t look cool, kids! You look like dicks!
 * Is it true you share girls around? 'Cause I find that kind of creepy.
 * You only act tough in your little gang! It really is pathetic.
 * You and your friends seem really sad. Like you watch too many silly movies.

Bumping Into Someone

 * Get the fuck out of my way!
 * Would you open your fucking eyes?!
 * Oh, by the way, that was entirely your fault!

Bumping Into Someone (Angry)

 * Blind fool!
 * Look the fuck out!
 * Move!

If Threatened

 * Oh please, go jump off a cliff.
 * Oh please, go and hurt yourself.
 * Fuck you, charming. Fuck you!
 * Go and fuck yourself.
 * You are an annoying shit.

Starting A Fight

 * OK, sugar, hit me.
 * Let's go, cupcake!
 * Come on! Punish me!
 * Come on, then! Make me suffer!
 * Make me cry! Come on, make me cry!

Starting A Fight (Angry)

 * Fuck you!
 * You're dead!
 * You're a dead fuck!
 * FUCKING ASSHOLE!
 * COME ON!

Knocking Someone Down

 * Did that hurt a little?!
 * Oh, sorry I hurt you!
 * You've only yourself to blame!
 * Had enough?!

Knocking Someone Down (Angry)

 * Get up!
 * Stay down!
 * You want some more?
 * Happy now?
 * Don't screw with me!

Spooked

 * Oh, Jesus!
 * Oh, my God!
 * What the fuck?!

Irritated

 * Shit, shit, shit!
 * Oh, shit!
 * Bullshit!
 * Fuck me!
 * Damn!
 * Crap!
 * Fucking fuck.
 * For fuck's sakes!
 * Well, I'll be fucked.
 * Good lord above.

Angry

 * Oh, God, give me the strength!
 * TWAT!
 * SHIT!
 * FUCK!
 * TURD!
 * BULLSHIT!
 * COCKSUCKER!
 * THAT IS REAL BULLSHIT!
 * FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT'S HOLY!
 * OH, LORD HELP ME!

Activating Rage Ability

 * Where are you assholes hiding?!
 * Come here! Somebody come, here!
 * It's T-revor time!
 * Hello?! WHO WANTS SOME NOW?!
 * Argh, let's make something of this!
 * Ah, fuck all of you!
 * LET'S PARTY, GENTLEMEN!
 * COME ON TOUGH GUYS, LET'S DO THIS!
 * WHERE IS EVERYBODY?!
 * IS THERE ANYBODY HERE TO GODDAMN KILL?!
 * COCKSUCKERS, COME ON!
 * WHERE ARE YOU, WHERE IS ANYONE?!
 * COME ON, KIDS! LET’S PARTY!
 * YOU WANNA PIECE OF ME?!
 * LET'S DO THIS!
 * YOU WANNA PARTY, HUH?
 * WHERE ARE YOU PRICKS?!
 * DIE!
 * SOMEBODY COME OUT AND PLAY WITH ME!
 * You can't ALL hide from me!
 * Ah, assholes, HELLO?!
 * Come on!
 * Somebody, please!
 * (Various Yells and Screams)

Gaining A Wanted Level

 * Shit! Cops!
 * Great. Police.
 * Wonderful. And my tax dollars hard at work.

Drawing Out A Weapon (Hangouts)

 * Don't worry, it's just a toy.
 * Yeah, it's a penis substitute.
 * Oh, it’s not real.

Shooting Someone

 * Screw you!
 * Let's go!
 * Asshole!
 * Party time, ladies.
 * Let's see what you got!
 * Let's have some fun then!
 * Blame my best friend!
 * Trevor Philips. Remember that.
 * You should've run away.
 * Come on, asshole.

Shooting Someone (Angry)

 * Come on!
 * Piece of shit!
 * ASSHOLE!
 * COCKSUCKER!
 * YEAH?!
 * TREVOR-MOTHERFUCKING-PHILIPS! THAT'S ME!
 * SCREW YOU!
 * FUCK YOU!
 * HAVING FUN?!
 * HAVING FUN, CUNTS?!
 * AIN'T THIS DANDY?!
 * YOU'RE DEAD! DAMN DEAD!
 * YOU TURDS!

Shooting All Nearby Enemies

 * That's it?! That's the lot of you?! Fucking pathetic!
 * Wasn't that fucking jolly?!
 * That fucking showed you!

Shooting All Nearby Enemies (Angry)

 * I told you not to fuck with me!
 * Fucking pricks!
 * You lot really were pathetic!

Talking To A Corpse

 * Sorry, pal!
 * Buh-bye!
 * That'll teach ya... Something or other.
 * Look at me. What'd you expect?

Talking To A Corpse (Angry)

 * GOODBYE! FROM ME!
 * NOW YOU, ARE AS DUMB AS YOU LOOK!
 * YOU DESERVED THAT, YOU IDIOT!
 * WELL, I GUESS THAT'LL TEACH YOU!

Stealing A Car

 * Let's go!
 * You're getting robbed.
 * This is just a robbery!
 * It's just a possession, let it go! Now!
 * Out you get, buddy!
 * Hey, pal! Out!
 * Jackass! You're getting robbed!
 * Don't be a hero, now!
 * Move, buddy!
 * Trust me, you don't want to carpool with me.
 * Would you, move!

Stealing A Car (Agitated)

 * Come on, pal, quick!
 * Out, asshole!
 * Now move!
 * Stay motherfucking cool!
 * Don't make me kill you!
 * Don't annoy me!
 * Do NOT try to fuck with me!

Stealing A Car (Women)

 * Sorry, lady!
 * Come on! Out of the car, lady!
 * Come on, my dear! Walking's fun!

Stealing A Car (Women) (Agitated)

 * Yes, of course I've got fucking mommy issues! Now, move!
 * Move, lady! MOVE!
 * Out, woman!
 * You! Get out of there!

Stealing A Bike

 * Don't blame me, blame gravity!
 * Can I borrow the bike?
 * Forgive me!

Stealing A Bike (Angry)

 * Off!
 * Off the bike!
 * Give me the fucking bike!

Stealing A Car (Dead Driver)

 * If you ain't using it...
 * I'll see this put to use.
 * Why, you bequeath me this vehicle!
 * It's going to a good home!

Stealing A Car (Dead Driver) (Agitated)

 * Well, you don't need it!
 * EXCUSE ME!

Near Misses

 * Oh!
 * That was close!
 * Missed me!
 * Lucky miss!
 * Whoa-ho!

Near Misses (Agitated)

 * ARGH!
 * Jesus!
 * WHOA!

Car Crashes

 * You want to end up in the trunk of this thing?!
 * That was entirely your fault!
 * That is beyond annoying!
 * This car's gonna be parked outside your house!
 * We're swapping insurance details!
 * This is a fine automobile!
 * How did you not fucking see me?!
 * You hit me!
 * You didn’t see my car?!
 * You don’t see this car here?!
 * I’m making a personal injury claim!
 * I just hope that broke your goddamn neck!
 * I just waxed this puppy!
 * You're a fool, you're a blind fucking fool!

Car Crashes (Agitated)

 * Asshole!
 * You dick!
 * I ain't got time for your crap!
 * What the hell is wrong with you?!
 * Moron!

Car Crashes (Hangouts)

 * Would you look out?
 * Give your passengers some warning, eh?
 * Little miscalculation there!
 * Careful, eh!
 * Hey, whoa!

Running An NPC Over

 * Oh, I gotta get my eyes checked!
 * How did you not see me?
 * Oh, I am so sorry!
 * You only have yourself to blame!

Running An NPC Over (Agitated)

 * Stop annoying me!
 * COME ON! MOVE!
 * FUCKING MOVE!
 * GET OUT OF THE WAY!

Running A Coyote Over

 * Mmm... Smells like coyote guts!
 * Coyote, coyote, coyote, definitely a coyote.
 * Guess it's coyote for dinner!
 * Stay off the road!

Running A Bird Over

 * Bird strike!

Running An Animal Over

 * You're never gonna win that, little guy...
 * They gotta put up an animal crossing sign.
 * 10 points!
 * Squish!
 * They're cute, but they're stupid.
 * The apex predator in action!
 * Top of the food chain!

Running An Animal Over (Agitated)

 * MOVE! ARGH!

Running A Deer Over

 * Whoo, venison steaks all round!
 * DEER! Oh, Deer! Deer.

Engine Failure

 * Argh... Come on!
 * Start, you turd!
 * Argh, start you piece of shit!

Engine Failure (Agitated)

 * Mmm, let's go!
 * Come on, go!
 * START, FOR FUCK'S SAKES!

If Franklin Asks To Hangout

 * You? Whoa - I thought you’d finally turned into mini Michael and given up on friendship - come on by.

If Michael Asks To Hangout

 * You? Actually spend leisure time, with me? Well, OK!

If Player Bumps Into Him (Hangouts)

 * Oh! Ah baby, that hurt so good!
 * Now what was that for?

If Player Gets Too Close (Hangouts)

 * Everyone wants to rub up on T!
 * You're trying to get my stink on you?
 * Hmm, hello sailor!
 * You gonna say sorry?

When Near A Bar (Hangouts)

 * There's a bar right around here. Let's knock some back.

Playing Golf (Positive)

 * I was the Canadian under-18 champion!
 * I nearly went pro!

Playing Golf (Negative) (Hangouts)

 * Laugh and I’ll stick this club in your kidneys!
 * You made a noise. Shit.

Beginning Darts

 * You wanna play darts?

Final Shot (Darts)

 * Pressure's on! You got the stones?
 * One dart stands between him and immortality.

Long Rally (Tennis)

 * It's a battle of wills!
 * Who's got the stones to finish this?!

Winning (Tennis)

 * The psychological battle was won before we got on the court!

If Spooked Or Assaulted (Hangouts)

 * Stop it, asshole!
 * What is wrong with you?!
 * Stop being a twat!
 * You have clearly lost your tiny mind!

Buying a Drink

 * I want that one - gimme, gimme!
 * Uh, I want one of those. Now!
 * There. Gimme one.

Second Drink

 * More, come on!
 * Hit me again.
 * And another.

Reloading

 * Re-loading!
 * I’m just filling up!
 * I gotta reload!
 * I’m out!

If Player Shoots Dead An Enemy (Hangouts)

 * Mr. Sharp Shooter!
 * Nice shooting!
 * Oh, he’s a crack shot!

If Trevor Is Assisted In Hangouts

 * Thank you.
 * Thanks.
 * Thank you kindly.

Robbing A Store

 * Come on! Empty the register, now!
 * Let's empty the register, now!
 * OK! Empty the register, now!
 * OK, I'm going to need all your money. Now!

Robbing A Store (Agitated)

 * ALL YOUR CASH. NOW!
 * GIMME ALL THE CASH, NOW!

Shooting At The Store Owner During Robberies

 * HURRY UP!
 * FASTER! MOVE! LET'S GO!

Hailing a Taxi

 * Taxi!
 * Taxi man!
 * Stop your fucking car!

Knocking Out a Busker (Switch Scenes)

 * Learn to play the fucking saxophone!
 * That wasn't the request!
 * I don't want your tips. I want you to shut the fuck up.

After Spooning Floyd Hebert (Switch Scenes)

 * You're spooning me, next time.
 * Stay right there. I'll be right back.
 * You look so peaceful sleeping.
 * Hush, now.

Vomiting Into A Fountain (Switch Scenes)

 * Never, eat, Indian people!
 * Oh, I swallowed that nose ring in the nineties.

Pushing Man Into Harbour (Switch Scenes)

 * Man overboard!
 * How am I supposed to bury dead bodies at sea, when I can't have access to a fucking boat?!

Throwing The Lost MC Member Off The Bridge (Switch Scenes)

 * Remember, there is only mass, fluidity, and incompressibility.
 * I wish we had more time to delve into the real implications of your bigotry!
 * The little bird will never learn to fly if he isn't pushed out the nest.

Flirting With A Stripper

 * My mother was a stripper once.
 * Who knew silicone and desperation could be so damn alluring?
 * I think I love you.
 * I'm in love. I love you.
 * My... GOD! You're really something.
 * You're beautiful. Just like me.

Flirting With Two Strippers

 * Now who says I'm not a sophisticated and intelligent man?
 * Who says Uncle Trevor is a dirty old man?
 * Ain't this a party? Two girls, one creepy old man!
 * Oh, if only we had a guy join us we'd have a real party.

After Drinking A Soda

 * Mmm.
 * That hit the spot!
 * Just what I needed!
 * (burps) There you go.

Straining To Take A Dump In Sandy Shores Safehouse As An NPC

 * Oh, man. I'm backed up. Ach! I might need a C-section.
 * I need a fucking midwife for this thing!

When Asleep In Sandy Shores Safehouse As An NPC

 * Ah, fuck off!
 * Fuck off!
 * Mmmm. Fuck off!

Drinking And Throwing Grenades In Sandy Shores As An NPC

 * I'd fish with these if there were any left in the Alamo Sea.

Greeting Ron

 * It's Nervous Ron!
 * All good, Ronald!

Insulting Ron

 * Ron, you're awful. In every way!
 * You're a creepy, paranoid, wreck of a man.
 * My, God, I cannot believe we are friends.
 * I've met pond slime with more personality.
 * You're pathetic.

If The Player Points A Gun At Trevor

 * You getting this off on this, little man?
 * This a power thing, buddy?
 * Come on then, do it!

Hurrying Taxi Driver

 * Hurry the fuck up!
 * Mmm! Pick up the pace, buddy!
 * Vamos, let’s go!

If Franklin Follows Him

 * Is this how you got Mike as a mentor? Being stalked don't flatter me.
 * You gonna follow me into the can? Come on, Frank.
 * Look who’s in my rear view… Still.
 * Bro, you keep tailing me, I will put you down.
 * I’m this close to snapping, Frank. This close.
 * Bro, are you following me?
 * I like you, Frank, so I’ll give you one last warning.
 * Please, what I’m about to do, I don’t want witnesses.
 * Following a guy like you are, really makes him think he’s being crept on.

If Michael Follows Him

 * Pork chop, what are you doing?
 * You're being creepy now, cowboy.
 * Fuck off, Mikey.
 * Michael, please fuck off.
 * You stalking me again, pork chop?
 * Give it a rest, fatty.
 * I said stop following me, cowboy.
 * I think I liked you better when you hid from me, buddy.
 * Are you following me, cowboy?

Snapping After Being Followed

 * And... GO TO SLEEP!
 * Someone wants to be knocked out and MOLESTED!
 * Leave. Me. ALONE!
 * You really are an annoying PRICK!

Getting Car Stolen

 * Are you insane?
 * Get off me!
 * What the fuck are you doing?

Getting Car Stolen (Angry)

 * NOT FUCKING NOW!

Noticing NPC Police Car Chase

 * They ain't after us!
 * They got a hard-on for someone else.

Scooter Brothers

 * We are scooter brothers! SCOOTER BROTHERS!
 * Come on, scooter brother! Let’s go, scooter brother!
 * Scoot-er Broth-er!
 * Where we going today, scooter brother?
 * We will go on a journey, a journey of scooters!

Riding On A Rollercoaster

 * I hope this thing crashes.
 * My cousin used to work at a carnival.
 * I once ate a carnival worker.
 * This is a kind of thing idiots do for fun.

Having Sex With A Prostitute

 * Oooh, mother!
 * Ohhh, and I hate myself!
 * Ohhh, and I see the void!
 * Oh, who's your creepy uncle now?
 * Yeah, I love you!
 * I love you, I love you, I love you!
 * (Various Moans)

When The Player Hits A Jump

 * Showoff!
 * Whoa there!

Running Over A Friend

 * Shit!
 * Oh, shit! It’s your fault!
 * Oh, you fool! You made me do that!

Purchasing Vehicles Online

 * Man, I love the internet! Porn and retail!
 * Oh, come to uncle T!
 * Nothing like mindless consumerism to fill the void!

If The Car Is Too Small For The Prostitutes

 * Ah, your luck's out babe. This car's too small.
 * Unfortunately, you'll have to wait to ride the T-train. This car's too small.

Robbing A Store As An NPC (Hangouts)

 * I'm his hostage, by the way.
 * This guy's crazy, I'd listen to him.
 * You know, he might shoot you if you don't give it to him.

Asking A Prostitute For A Ride

 * Get in. I'm lonely.
 * Get in, gorgeous, let's party.
 * Hey, come on. Get in. Meet your uncle Trevor.

If The Player Starts A Fight (Hangouts)

 * Hey, don't stand for that bullshit!
 * Hey, he thinks you're a pussy!
 * You gonna take that crap? Come on!

Telling The Player To Stay Down (Hangouts)

 * Stay down!
 * Keep your head down!
 * Stay in cover, sugar!