Male LSSD Deputies Dialogue

If greeted kindly

 * Hi!
 * Kifflom!

Chatting to other officers

 * Shit, even anal gets boring after a while.
 * Most gals will gargle your meat to get out of a ticket. I'm just sayin'!
 * All you do is talk!
 * Ah, I appreciate it!
 * You know, one time, I slept with three women in one day!
 * My old lady just keeps getting fatter and fatter.
 * You're not wrong.
 * Amen to that.
 * You said it.
 * Hit the nail on the head.
 * If there's one thing I can't stand, it's city folk.
 * Why someone would want to live in Los Santos is beyond me.
 * You wouldn't catch me speaking any Spanish.
 * Everyone wants to stick their grubby hand in Uncle Sam's cookie jar.

If annoyed or insulted

 * You ain't worth the fuckin' steam off my piss...
 * God damn civilians!
 * You asshole...
 * Ugly ass piece of shit...
 * Don't make me turn you into an internet video, asshole!
 * You ready for an ass whooping?
 * Chill out, assholes!
 * Be good...
 * Oh, you're going down!
 * What a waste of time!
 * Give me a break with that shit!
 * Alright then, shithead!
 * I'll knock all your damn teeth out!
 * Oh, you’re aiming for a beatdown?
 * You're about to become my favorite target!
 * You got a chip on your shoulder?
 * Watch it, dimwit!
 * Deadbeat.
 * Don't make me kill you, asshole.
 * Son of a bitch!
 * Get a move on, or I'll fuck you!

Communicating to other officers

 * On my mark, go guns blazing!
 * You got my back?
 * I was born ready!
 * Crush that son of a bitch!
 * Get that son of a bitch!
 * Blast him!
 * When I give the signal, shoot this asshole!
 * Let's finish this shit!
 * Come on, now!
 * You got me?
 * Now! Now!
 * Ah, I got you!
 * Shoot this asshole!
 * I’m ready!
 * Locked and loaded!
 * Go, go, go!
 * Fire! Now!
 * You keep an eye out, I need cover!
 * Enough of this asshole!
 * Are you assholes going to stop messing around and help me!?
 * Gimme some cover!
 * I need cover!
 * Get them!
 * I got him!
 * You all ready?
 * Ready on my mark!
 * Fire! Fire! Fire!

If an officer is injured or killed

 * We got an officer down!
 * Ah, they got Mike, shit!
 * He's hurt bad!
 * We got a man down!
 * We got one hit on the ground!
 * We're taking casualties!

If civilians are in the way or in the area of a pursuit

 * Go get a job, people.
 * Party's over, folks.
 * We need this area cleared immediately!
 * Clear out, everyone.
 * If you can hear me, get the fuck out.
 * Police! Clear out!
 * Get out now!
 * Everyone clear the area!
 * Hey, assholes! No loitering.
 * You don't have to go, but you can't stay here!
 * You don't have to go home, but- yeah, you fuckin' do. Go home.
 * Move away from the area.
 * Everyone, clear the area!
 * Let's move out, people.
 * Clear the area now!
 * Get out of there now!
 * Everyone, MOVE!
 * Hey, dimwit!
 * Move it!
 * Are you high on toilet cleaner!?
 * You want a ticket!?
 * Get out of the damn way!
 * Hey, out of the way!
 * Move, asshole!
 * Are you high on toilet cleaner GO!
 * Police business! move!
 * Let's get out the way!
 * You're obstructing the law!
 * Sheriff coming through!
 * Clear the road!
 * What's the holdup here?
 * Clear the road, now!
 * Out of the way, moron!
 * This is an obstruction of justice!
 * Move, or I will run you down!
 * Move out of the way! That’s an order!

If an officer is in danger

 * We’ve got to fall back!
 * We need reinforcements!
 * I’m going to need some help out here!
 * Why did you let this asshole pin me down?!
 * This is getting a little too hot for my liking!
 * What the hell? He's got me pinned!
 * I'm pinned in pretty fuckin' tight here!
 * Dickheads, he's got me pinned!
 * Somebody help me!
 * I need help!
 * Help!
 * For the love of got someone help me!
 * Oh, my Lord!
 * What the hell?!
 * Shit, man! This is too much!
 * Officer in need of assistance!
 * Damn! Get down!
 * Watch your head!
 * Be careful get your head down!
 * Duck, assholes!
 * I've never seen anything like this!
 * I could use some backup!
 * All officers I need help now!
 * Backup!
 * Regroup!
 * Call in NOOSE!
 * Call in NOOSE right now!
 * This is too much!
 * Shit!
 * Holy hell!
 * Oh, hell!
 * We need NOOSE around here immediately!
 * We got a NOOSE situation down here!
 * Will you assholes stop messing around and help me!?
 * I could use a hand here!
 * Can't do it all myself!
 * I'm getting tired of doing this all by lonesome!

Taunting criminals

 * I'll teach YOU some respect!
 * W-w-whoa; don't move!
 * Look's like we're going to have to do this the hard way.
 * This should be fun!
 * Oh! Jimmy's going to have a lot of fun with yo' ass back at the station!
 * I’m going to beat you when I catch you!
 * Look at that; you made me pull out my gun!
 * Well, looks like you are surrounded!
 * You ain't going to outrun me!
 * Just wait 'till I catch you!
 * You're surrounded!
 * You done goofed up, asshole! Nowhere to go!
 * Hands in the air!
 * Hands in the air! NOW!
 * Die!
 * Go to hell!
 * It is over!
 * Do not take another step!
 * Asshole!
 * Dumbfuck!
 * Fucko!
 * Inbred dickwad!
 * I'll kill you!
 * You think you can hide!?
 * You're dead!

Megaphone quotes (during a car pursuit)

 * Ram his ass! He'll lose control!
 * A case of Piβwasser to the guy who clips this shitbird!
 * Just shoot the tires out! That actually sounds like fun!
 * I got an idea how to end this for good!
 * Shoot him in the head!
 * Police! Stop your car!
 * Stop the car and put your hands out the window!
 * Stop the vehicle now!
 * Are you deaf? Stop the vehicle!
 * You are pissing me off STOP!
 * I said: Stop the fucking car!
 * Don't you try my patience! Stop the god damn car!
 * You better stop that damn car. NOW!
 * Stop your vehicle!
 * Stop the vehicle, we need to have a little chat!
 * Stop the vehicle and get out!
 * Turn off the engine in your vehicle!
 * Keys out of the ignition. Now!
 * I'm warning you. Kill the engine!
 * I am not accustomed to repeating myself! STOP!
 * Shut the vehicle down, asshole!
 * Throw the fucking keys out the window!
 * You asshole, don’t you test me. You STOP!
 * Shoot the tires!
 * Take him out!
 * Take him off the road!
 * Take that vehicle out!
 * Shoot out the wheels!
 * Stop right there!
 * I'm ordering you to STOP!
 * Stop the car now!
 * Please. Stop the car!
 * Pull the car over!
 * Stop the god damn car!
 * What part of “stop” don’t you understand!?
 * Last chance to stop the car!
 * Pull over!
 * Pull over on the side of the road!
 * You need to pull over now!
 * Stop that vehicle right now!
 * Pull the hell over!
 * Stop now!
 * I'm ordering you to STOP!
 * Stop the fucking vehicle!
 * Stop, right now!

Megaphone quotes (during a boat pursuit)

 * Stop your boat!
 * Hands in the air! Stop your boat!
 * Shut down the boat's engine and put your hands in the air!
 * Stop the boat now!
 * Kill the engine!
 * Stop the boat! That's an order!

If the player is walking around with a gun

 * You dumbass; put that away!
 * We know how this is going to end, don't we?

If the player sprints up to an officer

 * Scared the shit out of me!

If an officer recognizes the suspect

 * There you are!
 * There’s the bastard!
 * There’s that asshole!
 * Look who it is!
 * Yeah, I see you!
 * Suspect’s been spotted!

If the player gets away or if sight is lost of the player while wanted

 * Where did he go!?
 * Shit! We cannot lose this turd burger!
 * This asshole must be on PCP! We’re losing him!
 * Where did he go?
 * I don’t see him.

Inspecting a dead body

 * I'll kill the asshole who done this to you!
 * Oh, shit!
 * Damn.

If an officer is bleeding out

 * Now don't you go dying on me!
 * You ain’t going to die!
 * Ambulance is on the way.

If the player enters Humane Labs Research near an officer

 * This is private property, boy!
 * Get out of here!
 * Get your ass out of here!
 * You are tres-fucking-passing!

If the player exits the car and sprints

 * Oh! Hands in the air!

If a vehicle is about to explode

 * That shit is going to blow!
 * Oh no, it’s going to explode!
 * We got a burner!
 * It's going to blow!

If an officer is nearly hit by a vehicle

 * Cool it!
 * HALT!
 * Settle down, alright?
 * Cool your jets, you shitheads!
 * Hey! Slow down!
 * You'll kill somebody!

If an officer attempts to arrest the player

 * Hands in the air! Now!
 * Oh, hands in the air!
 * You're under arrest, you piece of shit!
 * All right then, shithead.
 * Get in the police car, nice and slow!
 * In the police car. NOW!

If an officer needs to reload their weapon

 * Keep him busy while I reload!
 * Reloading!
 * Damn gun’s old as hell!
 * New clip!
 * Got to reload! Watch my back!
 * I'm reloading!

After the suspect has been neutralised

 * Ah, I'm hungry. Let's get something to eat.
 * Dead as hell. *Sniffs* Let's get a beer.
 * I don't get paid enough for this shit.
 * What a waste of time.
 * That's how we do things 'round here.
 * The dumbass is down! I repeat: the dumbass is down!

If shot

 * You don't shoot the cops, asshole!